In the Transition: The Summer Before

I guess the time is finally here. After years of imagining, dreaming, praying, crying, and fearfully handing God my dreams, I am moving off to college in three weeks. It feels so strange. Knowing that home will be redefined in this season has brought me to a point of grief I’ve been hiding with the smiles of truthful excitement. It is true- I am so excited. I'm excited about making lattes in my dorm room with my new and fun roommate. I’m excited for making our little space a place of cozyness and encounter. I’m excited to sit with God and grow in the knowledge and revelation of Him through His people. But I’m also scared. Scared for the moments of lonesome feelings. Scared for the awkwardness of all of the firsts. Scared for not being known. Scared for dining hall food (I wish I was lying 😭). Scared for missing what once was.

It’s all so new. I think that is what is bringing shock to me the most. My heart has already begun to long for what I have not yet lost and maybe what I won’t even lose. Yet God has been meeting me in this place of utter uncomfortability. He’s been teaching me and assuring me of His closeness, even as the boxes begin to pile up and I see my younger years fading.

This is what He whispers:

You are known, even when they don’t know your past or your people.

You are called here, even when it feels like it is a complete restart of what once was.

You are Mine, I am yours. 

Time is Mine, let Me hold it.

In all of the change there is assurance that God can guide and tend to my heart this transition. He guided Abraham as he followed to a place of promise and left behind what was comfortable. He led Joseph as he received prophetic dreams then was brought out of his homeland. He showed Moses the way as he left the land of familiarity and wandered into a place of newness. He did the same to King David when he left the fields to go serve in the king’s palace. God even displayed it Himself, by leaving His throne and coming down as a man to live a life of humility and sacrifice. Leaving home seems to be a consistent theme in Scripture. I’m assured God will reveal more on this as these next few years take place.

While my hometown will always be a place of return, anticipating living elsewhere for the first time is reminding me that home has one identifiable factor that will abide with me wherever I go: my Lord. His presence is the pursuit. Obedience is worth it. Not solely for the outcome, but because He is deserving. 

“The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in From this time forth, and even forevermore.” Psalms 121:8

I’m headin' to you, Liberty :)

Kate